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Rid yourself of negativity

Today is Gus’s 3rd birthday and as I pour through the many baby pictures of our whirling dervish, I am reminded of everything our family has gone through over the past 3 years - from the birth of my stubborn little Mini-Me to Danny quitting his job to writing and publishing a children’s book about a stay-at-home dad (SAHD) to a pandemic to baby Oscar growing our hearts with his cheesy smile. I am both exhausted and proud of the lives we are living. As I reminisce about the many memories we have made, a comment from a friend popped into my head. She said, “You make it all look so easy – wife, kids, job, book, etc.”. This was shocking because our journey has been everything but easy. We chose a path that led us to an unconventional lifestyle, one that is questioned by many. They were the right decisions for our family, decisions that allow me to be a mom, a boss, an entrepreneur, and have a stay-at-home husband who fully supports and loves me. Life is really good, but it is not always easy.

Our little boys have changed our world in so many ways and as we continue to dance to the beat of our own drum, I can comfortably say that it has been a disheartening journey at times. I probably give off the impression that I just don’t give a crap what other people think, but I am here to tell you that your words matter. To this day, I still have people who look at me with a slight disgust and ask, “But Danny still has a job, right?”. Other people ask, “You actually trust your husband to raise your kids?”. Others comment that I will never be able to sell all my books or even ask, “Why would you write a book about that?”. I am absolutely exhausted from these comments. They even weigh me down at times enough to impede my progress.

I ultimately believe we are on this journey to help bring about some form of change. When I feel frustrated it helps to go back to the beginning to remind myself why I am here (luckily I have blog posts to refer back to 😉 ). I wanted to be the change I want to see. I wanted to set the example that women can have both a family and a fulfilling career. I wanted equality in the workplace for people of all genders, races, religions, and sexual preferences. It took years of me telling myself that I want to help women in the workplace for me to find something that I believed in and was passionate enough to pursue - But I did it, which is why it can be crushing to hear any of the above questions/comments.

I’m not going to use this blog to tell you 3-5 things that I do to help me out of these ruts. Instead I want to tell you about a conversation that I had with a friend the other day. I told her, “When people choose to put me down for making a good decision for our family, then I have to ask what is going on in their lives. What are they struggling with? Why does it make them feel better to put me down?”. Her response was, “You know what is so bonkers? We, as a society, highly prize those without standard lives: celebrities, presidents, athletes, historical heroes, etc. Yet the minute anyone starts doing anything “out-of-the-norm” people lose their shit.”. She’s right.

We are quick to do anything to support a celebrity – purchasing a product from any one of the Kardashian’s brands (KKW Beauty and Fragrance, SKIMS, etc.) or a children’s book by Joanna Gains or Kristen Bell. I have to ask: Why do we struggle to support a friend or acquaintance who is trying to step out of their own box and seek success in a new area? Why do we question their choices or, even worse, put them down? These celebrities that I refer to woke up one day and decided they had a passion for something other than reality tv/construction/acting. These individuals do not have chemistry, fashion, or literature degrees, and yet we graciously support their new business ventures or lifestyle choices without question.

I don't have an answer to the above questions so I will close with this: For any one of you who is trying to step outside of your comfort zone to achieve a new goal, I implore you to get rid of the negativity in your life. You have to do what is right for you! I guarantee you will achieve your goals that much quicker if you fill your life with positive people who lift you up. Don’t let other people and their unhappiness stop you from achieving your dreams. Squash that negativity as you soar to high heights. 🦅

I would lovvveeeee it if you decided to purchase a children’s book to give back to working women: A Stay-at-Home Dad?. Even if you don’t know a SAHD or aren’t a working mom, this is an awesome book for your littles (and, hey, who doesn’t love a good book that provides a new perspective?).