#5 Separate work drama from personal.

Separate work drama from personal drama.

From work-related topics to colleagues, you will find many things that frustrate you throughout your career. I would encourage you to refrain from bitching about your boss/colleague in the workplace, or even at a happy hour with work colleagues. As a mom, I would say, that's just not nice. As a boss I would tell you that it won't get you anywhere, just don't even engage. In fact, if you are capable, I would encourage you to discuss your issues with that individual in a professional manner.

If you can't do that, try and put yourself in their shoes: What are the topics that your manager/colleague is currently dealing with? Are they overwhelmed [with being a manager] or are they doing so much firefighting that they have little to no extra time for the people side of things? Is there something you can offer to take off their plate? You also have to keep in mind that you may not understand what is currently going on in their personal life - did they just go through a nasty divorce? Is a family member sick?

In order to have a healthy relationship with your job and colleagues, it is important to not let things build up. I had a really tough time with this when I started out my career - I would let too many things build up and eventually I would explode [in the workplace] and, in doing so, I have said some things to a boss that were completely unprofessional and emotionally charged. To help me better control my emotions and address issues head on, I took Emotional Intelligence and Communications trainings courses. I would argue that everyone should take two similar courses. It's crucial that you understand your emotions, how your actions impact others, in what ways you can address an issue, how to own your actions, and that pointing fingers is never effective, but rather detrimental to a relationship.

While it is best practice to separate your personal life from your professional one, it should be clear that we are not robots and our personal life can significantly impact our professional life (and vice versa). Make sure you address your problems head on, because it isn't healthy to let it build up and complaining won't get you anywhere.